Fathers and sons

Most readers are well familiar with the books and become famous phrase "Mother and Child". A similar-sounding phrase - "the father and child" - is spiteful grin, which is understandable especially our family relationships in particular, and our attitude towards life in general.
Fans of socialist realism perfectly remember quotes from numerous novels, where, becoming an adult, recalls a hero (heroine) of his childhood ... "blackened by coal dust the mighty hand of the father", returned from a trip my father, "etc. Thus, the role father's education was limited to the fact that, coming from work, to press for the mighty breast of the child and, thus fulfilling parental duty, peaceful bedtime to a rest with the new forces to return to the construction of communism. Before the Revolution (1917), fathers were more active - they are often assumed an important pedagogical decision - "I gave birth to you, I love you and kill you", "angry at you do not hold, I remember how he wore on his hands, well, then raised , as expected.
At the present time it is regrettable to note that the male population has a child-rearing attitude is very superficial. The roots of this phenomenon are quite varied.
The appearance of a child by the sudden appearance of a set of questions such as "what to do." In this case, what really needs to be done, no one knows, but the women (mother, grandmother, aunt, mom girlfriend, his grandmother's girlfriend), bustling around the crib and to exchange experiences, give the appearance of their own knowledge, understanding and skills. All this makes the men present (father, grandparents) irritation, turning into a sense of worthlessness. Man by nature being quite primitive and does not suffer, unlike women, an excess of emotions, fears, tears, etc. Faced with the incomprehensible and inexplicable, he tries any of this incomprehensible run at all or stay away from this incomprehensible.
Illustrated in the examples: as a baby, of course, weak and small, the main thing - that it does not freeze. The room includes 2 heaters, windows and doors, of course, zakonopacheny. At 3 am panting from the heat and sweat man, embracing his no less sweaty and too heavy breathing spouse begins to think. And he thinks about the following: I - young and healthy guy, but I have trouble breathing, the child is small and weak, it is probably even harder. We ought to ventilate the room and turn off the heater. Reporting on the findings of such a wonderful wife, a man gets very emotional response, which contains the following arguments: a) I did not order agony, that his health risk, and b) I also found a specialist, and c) but you generally can sleep wherever you want.
Example Two. Night. Children cry. Sleepy's mother near the crib. Swings and sings. Naturally, in the process of singing and rocking the child is silent. After the end of singing and rocking, respectively, screaming. - John, Joe, get up. It seems that Anya is sick, shaking. " Vasya shakes. Vasya sings. Remember the famous cartoon in which the wolf said, "Right now sing and sing after that. Something like singing Vasya. Vasya thinking, thinking, thinking. What kind of disease such that take place during the swing? - Masha, - said John, Joe - it may well ... Pooret and calm down. We're so its life will rock. "Mean-spirited slacker, you're that hard, he, you know, tired, his father said, some hour and a half singed, and that he calls all his life, we did it together, and not sleep at night I should be alone ...."
Why give the situations described above? First of all, the fact that the man starts, finally, to understand: the ordinary common sense can not tell him the answer to the question "what to do." So what do you do? From the perspective of the same common sense - less clever and stay away.
Let's look at the problem under discussion with the other side. Family, by and large, traditionally brand name viagra rests on two pillars: a) the emotions and feelings, worthy of support by women, and b) logic and common sense coming from a man. Union of these two whales, are complementary, leading to the creation of a full, normal and happy family. But it is traditionally, and if everything is simple, really? After all, logic and common sense are the basis of decisions, and modern men every now and any decisions taken do not want. Do you know many families where the man truly is the head? Such families are, unfortunately, is more the exception than the rule.
The transition from underdeveloped to developed socialism to capitalism, too, in some way affect the relationship between fathers and sons. By tradition, the man who considers himself especially the boss - getter, on that it keeps the material well-being. Ensure the well-being referred to by fair means you can only work round the clock (and even then not always), that leaves no time to participate in the upbringing of the child.
And yet. In most families, children are not born by mutual request of parents, and the factory - ie, inadvertently result from: a) sex and b) an almost complete misunderstanding of older people living in the twenty-first century, what modern contraception (prevention).
As a result, a family is not ready for the birth of a child (there is no adequate level of wealth, not solved the housing problem, there is little experience of family life), or the father is not ready for childbirth. Yes, yes, father. Indeed, the ratio of men to the children has a close relationship with age, and older than the man, the greater the joy it brings communication with the kid. It is no wonder that more than indifferent fathers often become great grandparents.
Thus, the lack of participation or lack of male involvement in the educational process due to:

1.
Revaluation of women's own educational abilities.
2.
Lack of initiative in men and the presence of laziness. By M. Zhvanetsky: "himself to think of himself and will do the same and you will be punished that badly made." Described a classic situation was typical of the socialist system of production, but Soviet women have moved her into the family.
3.
Sad environment - it is very difficult at the same time to feed, clothe and educate.
4.
Lack of family planning. Illustrative Example: make a baby and go into the army (the army - for real men).

These problems are not given, at first glance, to be optimistic, but it is only at first glance.
Well known that the great teachers (Makarenko, Sukhomlinsky, Korchak, etc.) were men. In a typical high school teacher and a teacher - not the same thing: remember your school days, talk to your children. So who was better, who is more memorable? In short, it is generally accepted that the man engaged in raising a child is able to achieve much greater success than a woman, but it is possible when there are two mandatory conditions:

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the presence of a man wants and desires for communication and education;
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non-resistance to women.

Here in general, and it turns out that it is absolutely insufficient involvement of men in the educational process is largely determined by women. And out of this situation have to find a woman at least, because newspapers such as "My health, women read more and more attentive than men.
So what do the women:

1.
Understand that in today's world to achieve anything worthwhile can only be making meaningful action. Feelings and emotions are good in love, but ill-adapted to prevent the outside world. If your views on how to communicate with the child must not coincide with those of your husband, then 90% of cases are not right just you.
2.
In every man there is an enormous ambition, and all that they committed, requires the approval of others. Woman must (!) Encouraged men communicate with your child, no matter how this interaction may be with her feminine point of view wrong.
3.
A woman should never overestimate their own teaching abilities. And even if your family breaks up, totally unacceptable, stupid and illogical prohibition of communication and the father of the child.

But man, what do they do? First of all, remember and understand: the happiness of your children is determined by their ability to think, learn and make their own decisions. Develop these abilities may be just a man - father, grandfather. This fact does not take into account, unfortunately, the courts in Viagra erection enhances divorce proceedings, well, God be with them, with the courts - this is not the only thing in life around them, what is there is no logic or common sense.
The main thing to understand: love of children has nothing to do with the number of fashionable and warm cloths, with expensive toys, and sweetmeats, and pineapple. Love - is communication, communication, aiming at giving a child the answers to basic questions about what is good and what is bad. And we want it or not, but so the world works: to feed, clothe, love and care are better at women, and to communicate, answer questions, to think and make decisions - men. If only the men themselves understand and explain to the woman that the whole, the whole pedagogy is based on two fundamental principles:

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absolute authority of parents;
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the unity of the family members in response to those same questions (about the good and bad), which keeps peace, happiness, family and happiness of each person. And at first it is desirable to answer questions, and then make children and engage in pedagogy.

Profoundly still, when your child learns to read, but human values must be vaccinated, and it is certainly, but really only possible if these values are the values for your family. Promised - do not lie, do not be late, it hurts - be patient, do not whine, do not ask for pens, too tired mom, politics - filth, money - time, music, painting, literature - the eternal family - the sacred religion - a private matter each. If you are all so, it will be your child - Man!